On a flight home from a business trip last week, my husband sat next to a couple that appeared to be in their late 50’s.  He told me they were holding hands, hugging, kissing, and generally acting like they were in high school.  He couldn’t help but overhear part of their conversation, which made it evident that they had only known each other a very short time. 

 

After overcoming his initial reaction of “they are too old to act that way!” he thought how nice it was that some things don’t change.  The basic human need for affection, companionship, and the promise of a future with someone don’t go away.  So true.

 

We are the same people that we have always been, with the same human needs for love, acceptance and companionship.  We can still be moved by great music, excited by a new experience and open to new relationships.  We can still discover, dream, design and ultimately create our destiny. It is up to each of us to keep our eyes open, to keep our minds open and most of all, to keep our hearts open.  However to facilitate this, we must first take care of ourselves.  The better we feel both mentally and physically, the more likely we are to recognize the beauty and opportunities in front of us, whether they be in the form of an amazing sunset, a brilliant idea, or in this case, a fascinating new person.  Be well.

Soooo, our flight was delayed, there was road construction in LA and we missed most of the much anticipated LA Cool party that we were looking so forward to attending.  Our beloved Colt Mc Coy was injured on his 5th play of the game, my husband was threatened by a belligerent fan sitting nearby and our Longhorns lost the National Championship.  Yet, I will always remember those 36 hours as some of our family's most memorable. It is all still so fresh even though we've already been home for four work-filled days.  However upon reflection, I don't think about any of the inconveniences or disappointments that I mentioned above, all that comes to mind are the moments of excitement, anticipation, friendship, camaraderie, pagentry, love, tradition and pride.  

What a ride! 

Martin Seligman, Ph.D. suggests three components of a person's positive subjective experience that account for his or her happiness experience.  These areas are: pleasure, engagement and meaning.

Pleasure can be thought of as the feelings experienced while eating a fresh baked (chocolate chip, for me please) cookie.

Engagement involves the depth of participation and interest in one's work, hobbies, sports, or relationships.

Meaning is the deepest involvement including serving some larger than life cause.  It can be a spiritual connection, a simple act of goodness or, perhaps a philanthropic commitment.  

These three components are not equally powerful, however.  Happiness derived from eating an ice cream cone is fleeting.  Furthermore, such happiness is often followed by feelings of guilt and self-indulgence.  Authentic happiness can be derived from engagement in purposeful, challenging or interesting activities - especially when that engagement is shared with others.   So too, meaningful activities that propel us to think outside ourselves and look to the "greater good" have proven to be a great source of  lasting happiness: i.e. prayer, meditation, and philanthropy.  

So my take away from all this:  Engage yourself in challenging, interesting, and invigorating activities. Allow for meaningful moments.  And yes, enjoy that occassional, fleeting, chocolate chip cookie!  Be well (and happy).