So 2010 is almost behind us and 2011 is  a few days away.  We are surrounded by newspaper articles, magazines and news programs attempting to focus our attention on New Year’s resolutions.  What will we change?  Will we lose weight? Change jobs? Get more sleep?  Spend less and save more?  Year after year, it is the same ritual.  Oscar Wilde once said, “A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.”  While New Year’s resolutions are well intended, they often develop out of  feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, or failure from the previous year.  What do I need to change to be skinnier, richer, nicer, more “popular?”

 

Based on the tenets of Positive Psychology, I have chosen, and am recommending to each of you, a different approach.  Instead of looking back at 2010 to find what we want to change or improve, let’s reflect back in search of our BEST moments.  Although the disappointments and challenges this past year may come to mind first, it is more constructive to uncover and acknowledge our positive relationships, experiences and/or achievements.  Personally, my best moments include:  my loving relationship with my husband through an emotional year of job changes,  meaningful work with my clients as they achieved personal goals and overcame challenges, remaining calm and optimistic as  my two daughters each prepare to graduate and  move on to a yet-to-be-determined university and grad school,  not overreacting in response to an emotional phone call from my son on a particularly stressful night, creating new traditions with my wonderful friends, and being a “sounding board” (her words) for my 94 year old grandmother. There...I just created a highlight reel.  That may sound like a pretty self-indulgent exercise and you are probably wondering how it will lead to personal growth in the coming year.  After all, wasn’t I taught to learn from my mistakes?  

 

In reality however, we learn and accomplish more from a position of strength than we do focusing on missteps.  When we are able to identify what we have done well, we are setting the ground work for future growth.   By recognizing our accomplishments, large or small, we draw attention to our values, strengths, and personal vision of our best selves.   Reviewing my highlight reel, I notice that relationships are paramount to my happiness – each item on my list includes another person.  I also notice that I am most proud of the times when I am a good listener and a calm voice of reason.  As I look to 2011, I will strive to be available to others as a source of strength, comfort and positive energy. 

 

So take a few moments and create your 2010 highlight reel.  Can you find a constant theme?  An overriding set of values?  Think about what personal strengths you possess that allowed for your most meaningful moments and past successes.  What makes you feel healthy, balanced and alive?  Create your 2010 highlight reel because that is where you are going in 2011.  When you move in the direction of your best moments, you create more of them.  Be well.